Why Sex Beyond Judgement?
Sex is one of the most judged activities on the planet. Different cultures have different ways of expressing that judgement – and the result of judgement is never expansive. Judgement will always kill possibilities, and in this case, the possibilities are for communion and pleasure with our own body, and our partner’s body.
So, to fully answer the question why did I create this class, I need to go back in time. It’s only recently that I have realised this, it was so deeply buried in my psyche – when I was a child, I was highly aware of my body, and the pleasure it could give me. That was pretty much stamped out of me; it was made clear to me in different ways by my Mum and my Dad that that kind of enjoyment was not “suitable” and “appropriate” in our family.
As a teenager, and actually all through my adult life in different ways, I was confused about sex, and the sexual experiences me and my friends were having, or seemed to be having. We actually didn’t talk about the details a great deal. We were “nice” British “gals” or young ladies after all.
I somewhere knew that there should be more to sex and enjoyment than I was currently experiencing, and I was going to do my best to find it. Well, I looked in a lot of the wrong places – the guys who were going to hurt me, the good looking ones who were more interested in themselves and the way they looked than their partner, the hippy guys, who made a study of being good lovers, and yet were somehow strangely still quite self obsessed – rating themselves as a good or bad lover, based on external criteria that often had nothing to with their partner!
Over the years, I was often disappointed, often judged myself as “deluded” for even desiring something different, judged myself for the search and my lack of success in having a “conventional” life with a steady relationship, preferably marriage.
At a certain point, I became seriously ill with a seemingly mysterious fatigue illness, which actually kept me pretty ill and limited for about six years. There are so many threads to my recovery journey – finding my voice, finding something I love to be doing in the world, healing a life long difficult relationship with my Dad, and of course healing my body.
My healing journey, particularly with the tools of Access Consciousness, has invited me to a communion with my body that is actually beyond what I thought was possible for me. I started to enjoy my own body, to enjoy sex with a partner more.
And I knew there was more again – which led me to train in something called Sexological Bodywork. This amazing body of work contains different processes designed to nurture and awaken the sensual and sexual self.
The classes I have been facilitating for now about nine months use the powerful tools of Access Consciousness to release where we are sticking ourselves with sex and judgements, in the presence of the amazing information I learned in my “Sex Bod” training. (I know – isn’t it the greatest abbreviation?)
Well, the tools work on me too – and over those nine months, I have been stepping into more deliciousness and enjoyment with my body than ever before. I am, however, still left with that same question from my teenage years – surely more is possible.
This class is my way to find that more, continually unfolding, and unraveling – and I would love to invite you on that journey too, if that sounds fun to you.
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Are you fed up with an “ordinary” life? Maybe you're stressed out, struggling with low mood, or physical illness? Maybe there's a particular area of your life you would like to change?
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