I always judged myself as shy, whilst hesitating to use that word about me. Why? Because I had so much judgement of it, and somehow thought by not talking about it, only mentioning it to the people closest to me who I could trust, somehow nobody else would know.
Of course everybody knew. That’s how secrets are. Everyone knows what we try to conceal about us.
And what was so awful that I wanted to hide it about me? Well, here is the dictionary definition, which still makes me feel a tiny bit “yuk.”
“The tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people.”
Mmmmmm - my whole life was dominated by the fear of meeting new people, the fear of appearing stupid, and if it came to speaking up in front of people, the whole thing escalated! I remember a time when I had to do some presentations for work: they were every six months, and I would spend two months worrying about them, and two months beating myself up for the failure I had been again! That didn’t leave much time for relaxing and enjoying my life!
For the last few days, I have been doing some Facebook live videos, and I have had a lot of engagement, comments and discussion around them, and people commenting that they can relate and gratitude that I am posting them.
So, I thought I would share them with you too.
These two links are for videos I created around shyness, and for me residual shyness in front of people you make greater than you. I realised that in the past, my "you are greater than me, so I have to be quiet, or I go blank" list was massive. Over the years, it has reduced - and now my demand of me is that nobody is on that list any more.
Have you ever surprised yourself by changing something you didn't even think you could change?????
This is what has occurred for me with the tools of Right Voice for You and my relationship with my Dad.
He was always really critical of me, as a child, a teenager and as I became a young woman. I was always fighting him, reacting to him. separating from him.
I was given a challenge by the amazing man, Christopher Hughes, who is the trainer of all of us Right Voice for You facilitators round the world.
He asked us to sing a song.
It is a few days until the class Outshine Your Shy in London, and I am super excited and super happy!!! And I realised I feel like a girl who has fallen in love, so excited and happy about everything in the world!!! And the song "Maria" came to mind - Maria is so happy to be falling in love - and here I am excited and happy about Right Voice for you classes!!!!
Towards the end of 2017, I made a choice. I could see that certain aspects of my life weren’t working for me. I would have amazing, creative times where I would facilitate classes, travel to great places, and hang out with gorgeous people, who really have my back.
And then, I would have times with not much going on, where I would notice I would start to slip into doubt and self-sabotage.
So, my choice was to turn ME up, and to deliberately increase the number of things in my life that make me feel alive, happy, vital and JOYful………………and 2018 is already the most exciting, vibrant, joyful time of my life, where I am feeling the most happy, the most alive and the most fulfilled ever………………and I know MORE is coming!!!
Are you fed up with an “ordinary” life? Maybe you're stressed out, struggling with low mood, or physical illness? Maybe there's a particular area of your life you would like to change?