I always judged myself as shy, whilst hesitating to use that word about me. Why? Because I had so much judgement of it, and somehow thought by not talking about it, only mentioning it to the people closest to me who I could trust, somehow nobody else would know.
Of course everybody knew. That’s how secrets are. Everyone knows what we try to conceal about us.
And what was so awful that I wanted to hide it about me? Well, here is the dictionary definition, which still makes me feel a tiny bit “yuk.”
“The tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people.”
Mmmmmm - my whole life was dominated by the fear of meeting new people, the fear of appearing stupid, and if it came to speaking up in front of people, the whole thing escalated! I remember a time when I had to do some presentations for work: they were every six months, and I would spend two months worrying about them, and two months beating myself up for the failure I had been again! That didn’t leave much time for relaxing and enjoying my life!
Well, for me, as my shyness has unravelled, I have discovered that I have things to say, and that I enjoy, actually love saying them and expressing them in the world. What was a torture has become a delight, to the extent of course that I now facilitate classes around the voice and speaking up.
What has changed for me, and what I see with others, goes beyond, actually way beyond just what we might call finding my voice.
Shyness can extend to every area of your life, and even to the very creation of your life.
I was shy with my body; hated my body being seen, hated expressing myself with my body. The joy I have now with dancing and moving and expressing with my body is off the charts.
I was shy with my relationships. Shy in terms of revealing me and receiving from the other people, whether friends or a sexual partner.
I was also shy in the very creation of my life. It was as though being shy meant that I couldn’t have a “big” life or a “great” life. I had no idea until I started to use these tools how much I had been holding me back from what was possible for me. So. I am delighted to say that all the time, even in a global pandemic, my life continues to expand and grow.
Yes, these tools have actually saved my life!
And sharing them with others, and seeing more and more people have their transformation is one of the biggest pleasures for me!
Are you fed up with an “ordinary” life? Maybe you're stressed out, struggling with low mood, or physical illness? Maybe there's a particular area of your life you would like to change?